I hate having to argue with people simply because confrontation makes me uneasy. Some say it’s a weakness, not being able to confront a problem. From my perspective, if it’s possible to resolve conflict without it, I’d rather take that route.
But sometimes you really just need to have confrontation. Either addressing a person or just a set of factors causing a problem.
It gets messy when you’re confronting a loved one. Without realising it, a confrontation leads to an argument.
Why do people argue really? Most of the time they’re disagreeing with something. Sometimes they’re afflicted with a negative emotion. Ultimately people argue because they want to resolve a problem.
I would like to think that I have grown a lot, as a person, a friend, a lover and a loved one. Just looking back at the last ten years of my life has made me realise how I have expanded in my journey of personal growth – be it in tolerance, struggle, patience and acceptance. I do believe I am in a better place and as you get older, the feeling is almost necessary as it is wonderful.
Remember when I wrote this blog post during my first year in the news room? Not long from now, it’ll be my third. Three years a business reporter. Time sure flies.
If I could briefly summarize the past three years I would say that it got better over time. My first year was extremely hard because I made a lot of mistakes, typically careless ones and was called out for it. That was to be expected but I was extra hard on myself. I wanted to get it all right. But you can never get anything right without at least experiencing some sort of short fall.
Mistakes are still occasionally made but the more seasoned you become, the less tolerated the mistake. Nonetheless, the journey has been nothing short of interesting. Every day is new and filled with possibilities. I have learned so much along the way and continue to be stretched in different ways, all of which has contributed to my professional growth.
Life teaches you to be patient with the challenges thrown your away. It shows you that things will eventually get better. The silver lining is what most people persevere for. The dark clouds will always pass and bring out the sunshine.
Some challenges are extremely testing. Perhaps the use of the word extreme is itself that. But the feeling of struggle and remorse are never dishonest. If you’re struggling, you’re struggling.
But like an athletic race of hurdles, the race is forward and is only considered over after all obstacles are ran over. Running under or around does not count. That’s just the rule of the game.
I was a sprinter back in high school and used to run hurdles during athletic sport competitions. There were a few outcomes from the race. My favourite was obviously to win. But when I didn’t, I realised a few things which I used as life lessons:
My dad’s birthday is coming up and he turns 72 this year. Alhamdullilah, his health is still well (despite a few stents in his arteries). His mind is also still strong, intellect and wisdom very much in tact and sense of humour very well alive.
In celebration of that, I thought of writing down as many things I can remember that my dad has told or taught me throughout my life. He is a force to be reckoned with, and many of these quotes are a result of his life ideologies rooted in discipline, security, modesty and purpose. I eventually saw the wisdom behind what he said and they have become sort of a guide to my adulthood.
10 of my favourite sayings:
1. Your hard work is not my hard work
I once complained that I had tried my very best to prepare for an exam but still did not get an A. He said this very line to me then walked away. I was reminded of his academic accomplishments and the level of perseverance he said he had given in order to succeed. I guess it was no match, so I stopped complaining.