Category Archives: General Thoughts

12 things I learned in 2016

This year has felt so incredibly long! I know I said the same thing last year, but perhaps this year was an extension of that, only I learned much more. So much more. Where do I begin? A list is in order of course.

12 things I learned in 2016

  1. Do not look for a person to complete you. That person does not exist
    So I think the biggest misconception when it comes to love and relationships is that people feel the need to look for someone who can complete them. This year I realised that there is no such person who completes another. A relationship is the harmony of the lives of two individuals, not one person trying to complete another persons life. Once I realised that, my outlook on relationships made more sense. I was able to manage my expectations for relationships better. Read more…

Life is short, put your ego aside

I have an ego problem, I won’t deny that.

No I’m not the kind of person to think I’m better than you, no I’m not the kind of person to hold a grudge. But for some reason, I have a hard time saying sorry.

Annoying isn’t it? Having to say sorry, having to admit that you’re wrong. If you’re a person like me you’ll resonate with why it’s hard to even bring oneself to apologise. It’s…embarrassing.

Read more…

Patience & Gratitude

I recently turned 24 and I’ve been feeling upset and down about a lot of things lately. And the easiest excuse to make is that God doesn’t love me.

But victimizing yourself against God is pointless because what you seek is His mercy and it is His mercy that will save you.

I began to reflect over the tide of events that happened to me and asked myself why I was feeling this way. So I was not getting what I want, what I prayed for. So? Maybe it’s not for me. Maybe it’s not here yet. Maybe I’ll get something else. I should wait. Why couldn’t I wait?

Read more…

Comfort in solitude

Sometime towards the end of the year, I met someone who helped change the course of my life.

It seems cliché to say so, but I was lost. I was torn. I tried to let my problems fix itself, but I realized it wasn’t about having a problem. It was my attitude towards fixing it. I had a lot of fears (and still do). So when someone close told me to see a counsellor they were seeing, I almost wanted to flip.

A counsellor? I don’t need advice from her, I have you to give me advice!
There’s only so much advice I can give you.
But I have trust issues. You know how uncomfortable I feel about opening up.
Give her a chance, I think you’ll like her.

Read more…

Wanting less when you can have more

So I just got back from a short break out of the country and it was much needed. It wasn’t entirely perfect – weather conditions were not too good which limited my activity. But it was good nonetheless because I had days to just do absolutely nothing. And sometimes you just need to do that you know? Go away and do absolutely nothing.

The mind is hardly idle as is the body, so I took the opportunity to reflect about things, one particular realisation which I myself am even surprised to have made.

Read more…

May – what I wish for

May is my favourite month of the year for a simple reason – it’s the month of my birthday! And since it’s the month of my birthday, I always find myself reflecting a little more than usual. (so cliché huh?)

You grow up being told to make a wish while blowing the candles. Most of the time I would wish for “getting what I want” – but that was a material wish, and highly dissatisfying. As I turn a year older each year, I feel the need to wish more wisely and sincerely. So here goes…

Read more…

Small Victories

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Taken from Ivanka Trump’s facebook

If it’s anything I realised I didn’t do much in 2014…it’s that I wasn’t grateful for the small victories in life. Starting work however has quickly made me realise this. Most of the time people are naturally inclined to only highlight the big achievements, because achievement usually = big and that any other sort of minor or trivial matter should not be glorified.

But it should be.

To yourself that is.

At some point in 2014 I thought to myself what a dull year it was…how I hadn’t seem to accomplish much…how I was worried that I was not going to accomplish much by year end. It’s a self-destructive thought to have, i had successfully demotivated myself! It was unhealthy.

But time passed, I started work and the days quickly came to teach me an invaluable lesson that I shall now take into 2015: It’s to acknowledge and be grateful for the small victories. 

Small victories can be anything. Learning how to deal with a difficult stakeholder is a small victory. As is learning how to craft a formal government letter. Heck learning how to side park without hesitation is a small victory for me.

So as i quickly started to acknowledge the little deeds, I felt more wholesome. I am human and I am young. The only way to get to the top is to learn to navigate the ropes. A big victory is usually an accumulation of many small victories; hard work and perseverance.

I have long forgone new year resolutions and have instead resorted to setting personal KPIs or small victories I want to achieve. Life is too short to fret over the lack of big things.

✓ Be grateful for the small victories

Conversations

“The most important thing in all human relationships is conversation, but people don’t talk anymore, they don’t sit down to talk and listen. They go to the theater, the cinema, watch television, listen to the radio, read books, but they almost never talk. If we want to change the world, we have to go back to a time when warriors would gather around a fire and tell stories.” – Paulo Coelho

Absolutely agree. This is something I’ve noticed lately – the lack of face time, the lack of confrontation, the lack of conversation. I admit I was easily caught in the rut of this anti-social age, but now that I’ve realised it, I really want to get out of it. While there’s nothing really wrong with going out to watch a movie or catching up with friends over whatsapp, I make it a point to always have face-time with those around me as nothing beats those real time conversations. In the 21st Century this idea of face time has been reduced to an Apple app and it kinda sucks. It’s dissatisfactory, well it is to me anyway. And I’m glad I’ve got people in my life who feel that way. We always make it a point to go out for just coffee, somewhere tucked in the neighbourhood and indulge in a deep hearted conversation about anything from love to politics. And I cherish these conversations because they’re progressive, reflective, inspiring. Those are the little things that keep me alive, that give me something to look forward to. Conversations matter and it’s time we re-indulge in them more often.

Spirit Captain

My brother was tidying up his room when he came across a badge pin which belonged to me. I must say it’s no ordinary pin. Felt a bit frivolous when I received it 4 years ago in my last year of A-Levels but it’ll always carry happy memories with it. Definitely triggered a grin when my brother handed it to me.

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It’s my Spirit Captain pin from boarding school!

Haha I still can’t believe my boarding house mistress went through the trouble to do this. Most schools have the normal prefect system. And while I didn’t end up being a prefect, she decided that she’d create something like a prefect but for the boarding house only. Spirit Captain – or as I’d like to put it, head cheerleader of everything that goes on in my boarding house. Basically I was in charge of gearing all the kids in the house for all our house activities – house singing, sport competitions, this, that, you name it.

It was hilarious.

“Miss, are you serious? Spirit Captain…?”

“Yeah why not! I thought you could impart some of your enthusiasm on these kids”

I never took my self seriously. But I was flattered to know that my juniors did. And I guess that made the experience more meaningful. I still laugh (sometimes cringe) knowing I was awarded such a badge. But the memories – no cringe there. Bonding with my juniors and inspiring them where I can – those are the little things that made being a spirit captain less frivolous than it seemed. I’m the youngest in the family so I don’t  know what it’s like to be a bigger sister. Being a senior to my juniors gave me that opportunity. T’was fun. I miss those days. Thanks Ms Campbell :)

Keeping a journal

I was watching an interview Emma Watson did with Ellen Degeneres and besides talking about the Oscars and graduating from Brown, she also touched on her one habit she’s kept from young – keeping a journal. She said every since she was 9 (when she started filming Harry Potter) her family encouraged her to diarise important events in her life and so she did that, also collecting notes and napkins with messages – the little things that meant to her. And she’s been doing that ever since.

Not to sound lame, but I guess you could say I felt an instant connection.

I’ve kept a diary since I was 11 and while I didn’t write everyday, I wrote substantially throughout the years since 2003 (that’s a good 10 years!). Keeping a diary was a past time that came naturally for me and my siblings – we all kept our own diaries and pretty much documented our adolescence away. At the time I didn’t think about what it would mean come 10 years later ‘cos like I said, writing was just a past time I enjoyed. But now that I think about it, I’ve collected a good 6 books (some years I shared one book) of childhood and adolescent memories. That’s something. Imagine the next 30 years of my life.

I got back from class late last night and instead of getting ready to go to bed, I found myself on the floor flipping through these journals. T’was a walk down memory lane alright. Most of my entries were emotionally charged and filled with hard pressing advice to myself that I had a hard time taking. Subject matters like bad relationships, friends, getting good grades and making my parents proud dominated the pages. Typical adolescent thoughts no? But as the years progressed, I noticed something. My way of thinking (and writing) changed. I grew up and thought about other more important things.

When you were in school everything was about getting good grades or getting into that uni of choice or achieving this, achieving that. And when you didn’t meet your target, you’d beat yourself up over it. I sure did.

I guess now that school is over for me (well almost) – my thoughts have changed. These days it’s about the bigger dreams you want to achieve,the ideas you want to pursue, but being realistic about it. It’s about the friends you want to keep and what they mean to you. It’s about taking your health more seriously and eliminating those bad habits. It’s about appreciating the little things in life – the fact that you survived what you thought you couldn’t and being grateful for those life changing experiences. It’s about all those things that now matter to you which previously didn’t. It’s about seeing the bigger picture.

That’s the beautiful thing about keeping a journal – you can read and reflect back on how much you’ve changed. Looking back last night, I sure cringed and had a good laugh.

But i’m excited and motivated to continue writing. I’m in my 20’s now and I guess this is the beginning of the next couple of exciting decades to come, yes? Keeping a journal would definitely be worth it.

Here’s to the next 10,20,3o years.

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