All posts by SS

6 Things I’d Tell Myself at 20

inspired by Dearly Bethany’s video

Being 20 was an interesting time because it is the start of the third decade of your life. For many, it is a time of your undergraduate studies or some form of tertiary studies and also for many, you may be living away from family and loved ones. It is a time for self-discovery, independence, courage and adventure.

I was in my second year going into my third year of university and I remember it being really hard. They always said the second year of your degree in university generally felt harder as the grades count more and as such you are required to put in more effort. I had a lot of hard days, but I also had a lot of fun days. I generally don’t regret my time as a university kid, though I did wish I had done some things slightly differently.

I remember freaking out entering my 20s. I was like “oh here we go, entering into adulthood and expected to do all the adult things”. It is true, but it’s not as bad as I thought it would be.

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Emotional regulation

Have you ever had a moment where you’re conversing with someone and you simultaneously think about what it is you are doing or how you sound while speaking to that person?

Perhaps you started to increase your voice or started to sound emotional. You’re still speaking, you’re still wavering your hands in the air. Your facial expressions are mildly exaggerated and you look like you may lose it soon.

But you don’t. Because you caught yourself. In the quickest of moments, you readjust yourself so as to not go overboard. You take a deep breath. You tell yourself to remain calm throughout the conversation.

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A decade of growth

I still remember the young girl I was at the start of the decade. I was 18 and just finishing my pre-university course in 2010 and beginning the first year of university. It was a year of struggle and separation as my friends and I said our goodbyes and went off to various different universities. It was also a year of fond memories and meaningful encounters as I transitioned from one phase of life into another.

I remember how I looked like and how I felt distinctly. But interestingly, that young girl feels so far and so distant to the person I am today. I guess you could say, she is a girl of the past.

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12 things I learned in 2019

This year has been meaningful in many more ways than I could have imagined. I tapped into my intuition more, reflected on my innermost deepest thoughts, forced myself out of a cocoon of self-deprecation, and put more faith in God. As a result I felt a tidal wave of doubt pass by. It was one of the best personal feats I have experienced to date.

As usual, a list of self reflections is in order. I contemplated on whether to just write about one main thing I learned, but it seems I had a lot more to divulge haha.

12 things I learned in 2019

1. Gratitude multiplies with every thought

Perhaps the most common application of gratitude is that people only want to feel it when something good happens. But even with no new developments, you can still be thankful for your present life. The more I felt gratitude, the more I realised there’s a lot to be thankful for.

2. When you choose to open your heart, you will achieve greater understanding

A lot of times people say they want the best for someone but they say it from their head, not their heart. When you do that, the thoughts don’t translate to action, resulting in behaviour that is not truly accepting. If you want to better understand them, do it from the heart and you’ll find that there’s a lot of space for that there.

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