There are a lot of angry people out there. I don’t even need to do a survey to verify this fact. You can just see how people behave or react to things on social media. Or even just how certain people in your life communicate about certain things. If they react negatively, unnecessarily, you know there’s something that is underlyingly bothering them.
I came across this quote on Instagram today which said “When you get reactive, get curious. You have a wound that is asking to be healed” and it really caught my attention because this is an area I have been working on myself over the past few years and the quote just aptly put things into perspective.
Everyone has a wound or wounds that they are dealing with. Life experiences create these wounds that leave them to ultimately deal with throughout the rest of their lives.
Or not. Some people choose not to deal with them, or perhaps they don’t know that they need to, so they carry on. But the problem with this is that the wound will resurface, it will hurt from time to time based on what life experiences triggers them, and they may dismiss it as a one-off pain. But really, the bigger question that should be addressed is “What is it that is truly bothering me, and how can I fix it?”
The biggest lesson I have learnt for myself over the years when it comes to feeling pain is that it is truly important to feel it in its entirety. Feel the pain in your heart that you are experiencing. Do not ever suppress it. Take initiative to help yourself do this using whatever method you think can help. Whether it is to talk to yourself privately about the issue, or talking to someone else or someone professional.
Feeling the pain and mending the wound is also about being openly emotional. If you are in a bad mood, be in a bad mood. Be sad, be angry, be unapproachable. There may be repercussions unfortunately, and if you think this could be bad for those around you, then retreat to your room and be alone for awhile. But don’t lie to yourself or let yourself be lied to that it is important to “feel better asap!” and “get over it!” like how society expects us to.
Because it is not sustainable, not for now and not for the long term. Supressed emotions and unattended deep wounds (it gets deeper as you leave it unattended) is a recipe for disaster in the future. It leads to jeopardized relationships, disruptive personalities and unexplainable behaviour. Ultimately I believe, it leads to prolonged unhappiness.
I personally have spent a lot of time in my room just processing my emotions, on a bad day. I would think and think and think again and think some more. That’s my way of coping. When I think however, I’m rationalising my thoughts, almost like creating a strategy, of a way to get myself out of the anger that I feel. What can I do to help myself? What did this issue make me feel and what have I learned? Am I willing to let certain things go and moving on to allow for better experiences? Do I believe God will also guide me?
The wounds we feel are definitely mendable. The notion that time heals all wounds is also true (and that God is always listening), but time doesn’t heal a wound as fast as self-awareness does.