25 was a hard year

Now that I’m no longer 25, I guess I could reflect a bit on what felt like a really hard year.

On my self esteem that is.

So unfortunately, I caved in to the cliche of the quarter life crisis, or otherwise known as an existential crisis of sorts and really, just not feeling good enough.

In fact, I felt completely inadequate all throughout the twelve months.

It was as if the moment I turned 25, a wave of self-doubt consumed me. I questioned my worth and also my capability. This was especially the case as I grappled with the challenges of a new job. Everyday felt hard emotionally. And yes, I did cry late at night.

One thing I was proud of however was to not succumb to peer pressure. I didn’t experience envy. I didn’t want to be anyone else. But yet I felt insignificant. I didn’t know what I was doing with life and I didn’t know where I was going. It felt frustrating. And I asked myself everyday how I could over come this emotional trauma.

Then one day, as I was nearing my birthday, I woke up and felt fed up. Fed up with how I was feeling.

Suffice to say, the days did get better from there. After a whole year of self-doubt, I overcame it with a few lessons.

i. You must address your emotions. Suppressing them only makes it worse and it affects your behaviour to others. Talk to yourself, get to the root cause of your concern and address it head on.

ii. 25 is probably not the only year of your life you’ll experience self doubt. But if you know how to get through it the first time, you’re bound to be able to get through it the next time. Self-motivation is the best defence.

iii. Life events may all be fated but efforts must be made too. For example, you can’t grovel about lack of career development if you yourself are not interested in pursuing the challenges. It’s all about the great stride.

2 Comments

  1. Will alwaaaays support you even in silence Sya. You’ll get there!

    1. SS

      Thank you Nana, I appreciate it!

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