Look in the mirror

“People always want others to change, circumstances around them to change, but hardly want to change themselves.”

We’ve all heard this before. We say it to one another, reflect for five minutes, and then continue as normal – expecting others to change.

Time and difficult experiences with people have taught me that first and foremost, people don’t typically change for you. They change for themselves, and were in fact inspired by you. So you could inspire them to action. Not impose your expectations.

Time and difficult experiences with people have also taught me that I should never expect change – I should change my perspective of things to adapt to the circumstances. Someone being difficult to you? Inclined to hate or fight them? Wish you could change the way they think? It’s okay. Look in the mirror. Focus on what you can control – yourself. Change the way you view the situation, mould yourself to adjust. The miracle out of this is that things do change. And most of the time, nothing actually happened. You just decided to accept the situation and make the most of it – and guess what? You won. You’re happier.

I thought I learned this in 2016. Yet I continued to struggle with this concept into 2017 and now into 2018, I hope to try harder to understand. I cannot change people. I cannot change the situation. I can pray to God that He would help, but the reality is that I must help myself too.

I once read somewhere “If you want someone to change so much, what is it about them that you love?”

I have been struck by that quote since.

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