This year has felt so incredibly long! I know I said the same thing last year, but perhaps this year was an extension of that, only I learned much more. So much more. Where do I begin? A list is in order of course.
12 things I learned in 2016
- Do not look for a person to complete you. That person does not exist
So I think the biggest misconception when it comes to love and relationships is that people feel the need to look for someone who can complete them. This year I realised that there is no such person who completes another. A relationship is the harmony of the lives of two individuals, not one person trying to complete another persons life. Once I realised that, my outlook on relationships made more sense. I was able to manage my expectations for relationships better.
- The only way out of a problem is through
When I was younger I felt I could get away with problems, that it would magically solve itself. It was true for most instances. These days I realised that the problem only gets worse if I don’t do anything about it (duh). As a person who hates having to deal with confrontations and admitting defeat, I learned a thing or two about being the bigger person this year.
- If you want something, the world will conspire with you to get it. But first, you have to tell them
There came a point that I was lost with my career direction. I was unsure about a lot of things. I wanted to apply for a few jobs but had many concerns. So I talked to a friend about it. And sometimes it takes one conversation to get the ball rolling. I’ve a new job now and am thoroughly happier (and thankful thanks to him)
- Plan a holiday with no itinerary, it is far more interesting
I’m a pretty rigid person at times, I want to know where I’m going and what I’m going to be doing. For once in my life I told myself to take a chill pill and go with the flow. So I went to London with no plans. And had an amazing time. Even though it seems so because I know London well, the point here is there is far more to be discovered when we leave our day to the senses. That was a much needed trip.
- Indecision is a decision
If someone has to take a long time to make a decision about whether they want to be with you (for whatever reason), they have already made up their mind. If someone wants to be with you they would not hesitate. This is true for both romantic relationships and friendships.
- Many have friends. Few have real friendship
Growing up, I always wanted many friends. I naturally thought more was good and to be honest, I was always envious of the girls who had large cliques. Little did I know that there is stark difference between having many friends and having real friendship. My friendship with my best friend is definitive of this life lesson. I don’t see or speak to her everyday, but she’s been there for me unconditionally for 8 years. I wanted many friends but God is great, he gave me real friendship instead.
- Always forgive yourself – that is the way to a clear conscience
We make so many mistakes, some we care about, some we don’t. This year I made some mistakes that ate to the core of my conscience. I hated myself for a while. As the year went by I decided it was time to forgive myself and move on. So I made peace with myself (yes it’s necessary) and I’ve felt a whole lot more lighter.
- Ideas will always be stolen – the difference lies in who made use of it better
So now I know why people get mad when their ideas get stolen – the other person had the audacity to do something with an idea that wasn’t theirs. At least that’s how I felt when one of my ideas was stolen for a project. But then I thought to myself, I could do a better job, so I should stop complaining and just do so right?
- All that is not shown is not discounted of its glory
Instagram is really the mother of social peer pressure. Everyone wants to show what they’re up to, which holiday destination they’re at and basically working strategically to build a cool instagram account. I know this, I’m one of these people. These days I’m trying to cool down, to not give in so much because really I always felt a person is more interesting when they’re not so easily figured out. These days I still take a lot of pictures but I don’t always upload them, or I am more careful to select which picture to upload. The less you reveal, the more people can wonder no?
- Noone can hurt you without your permission
Encountering problems, making mistakes and being too hard on myself has made me a little hard hearted this year. I think what happened was I built an invisible wall where I didn’t let anyone get me down. I wanted to protect myself. Sometimes it meant I was being selfish, or a little brash. But I learned something about myself – I was strong enough to protect myself emotionally.
- Being nice is attractive and the new cool
It really is and I’d love to see more people adopt this philosophy. There is just so much negativity in the world that the only way to bring that down is to just be nice to those around you. Be nice to the cleaner, talk to her. Be nice to the waiter, crack a joke to him. Smile to the stranger. Heck be nice to the person you heard negative things about because life’s too short and she might just do favours for you. Ultimately I’ve always found nice and friendly people the most attractive, approachable and surprisingly memorable.
- A person need not be religious to remind you of God
I always thought that only the religious would remind you of God and religion. Towards the end of the year, I realised that’s not the case. I’m a work in progress and am always looking to improve myself in terms of increasing knowledge of Islam and sticking true to my principles. Yet I seem to find myself in the company of non-religious people. Not that it’s an issue. But these people equally remind me of God in ways I don’t expect. They show me mercy and kindness. It’s wonderful. It was the non-religious that reminded me of how wonderful God and his blessings are. I am more grateful today to Him for putting these people in my path.