I have an ego problem, I won’t deny that.
No I’m not the kind of person to think I’m better than you, no I’m not the kind of person to hold a grudge. But for some reason, I have a hard time saying sorry.
Annoying isn’t it? Having to say sorry, having to admit that you’re wrong. If you’re a person like me you’ll resonate with why it’s hard to even bring oneself to apologise. It’s…embarrassing.
But I realised that only those who are insecure feel embarrassed to apologise. The cardinal rule to correcting a mistake is to firstly apologise. The second cardinal rule would be to not make the mistake again.
So I had a situation at work that involved me making a mistake and was the fault of none other than myself. It was my fault. It was not a grave mistake but it was a mistake that threw me in the deep end and forced me to tread water. It was a really rough day and being the non confrontational person that I choose to be, I kept my head down and got to work to rectify my mistake. That was my way to apologise to my boss.
It was not enough.
As if knowing that I wasn’t going to budge and be the first one to approach him (which I should have), my boss approached me at the end of the day. I was feeling my worse at that point, but I knew this was it, I was going to have to admit defeat eventually (oh god).
“That was embarrassing, especially for me as the boss. You know, they were complaining that this was badly run.”
*nods head* “I know, I’ll make sure to get it done properly next time.”
“I know we were short of time, but if you need help you need to communicate it next time and not leave yourself in the dark.”
“Okay, I will.” … “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”
*sighs* “It’s okay, it happens. It’s a good learning experience right?”
I felt relief. I was still feeling sick in the stomach having to endure this conversation, but it turned out fine. There was an apology and there was forgiveness.
What I learned from this was that you lose nothing from putting your ego aside to say sorry. You only gain respect, and a peace of mind.
Of course actions speak louder than words and it is not enough to say sorry but not mean it. However I feel that to be able to bring yourself to acknowledge your short comings is showing strength in itself. Life is too short to hold back your words. If you’re wrong, admit it and laugh it off. Even if you’re not wrong, show some empathy and apologise anyway. “I’m sorry” is merely 2 words. But sometimes it tells more about a person than the mistake they made.