We’re always making mistakes, intentionally or unintentionally hurting others. It’s inevitable. Or at least that’s what life has taught me lately. Perhaps that is the blessing of a prayer, to seek forgiveness from God asides seeking forgiveness from the person.
But how about forgiving yourself?
I was on the plane and thinking about past relationships and fallen friendships and I wondered, why is it hard for some people to move on? I thought about why some people always try to prove a point and I figured one thing – they victimize themselves and those around them.
Victimizing yourself is basically like feeling sorry for yourself and putting yourself in a constant position of self-defense. Victimizing others is about putting yourself in constant blame – it’s your fault this happened, you wonder if it’ll be the same in the future?
I am not guilty of victimizing myself because I dislike self-pity but I am guilty of victimizing others sometimes. I was too harsh, maybe that’s why she distant herself. I’m too critical, maybe that’s why he became so defensive.
For a person who thinks a lot, these thoughts are toxic and linger in your head making you feel negative for no reason. For once I wanted to give my irrational thoughts a rest. I decided to forgive myself of whatever it was I was feeling down about and let go.
Forgiving yourself is saying – I know this didn’t go the way I wanted it to, I know I may have hurt some people in the process, I tried my best to make it work, but it’s okay. It’s okay. Some things are not meant to be. But there are many other things that are.
This realization is really important for relationships of all aspects – romantic, friendship, professional and miscellaneous acquaintances.
Let’s face it, some of us get hung up even on the smallest things – like a passing remark made in the office. Perhaps you know it hurt a colleague and it has since bothered you to the core. You said sorry and the colleague has shrugged it off. But it still bothers you. Why? Because you’re victimizing the person.
Life is short. Forgiveness is an act of kindness in itself. So seek forgiveness when needed, forgive others if you have to and always, always forgive yourself. Most people are negative to others because they think negatively of themselves. When you are kind to yourself, you become kinder to everyone else.