I realised in the many years that I’ve blogged about friendships, I’ve not actually written in such depth about how far my friendships have taken me and so that warrants a dedicated blogpost.
Growing up, I’ve been lucky. I’ve met some incredible people and befriended people who have changed my life in ways they don’t know. Though I have had my fair share of friendships that have not benefitted me and caused me a lot of stress, I was lucky enough to have made 2 bestfriends during two different stages of my life who became my focal point of stability in life, where other friendships faltered.
The first one was my bestfriend in highschool back in Saudi Arabia. We decided one day in Year 6 (Standard 6) that we would be bestfriends and the next thing we knew we were glued and inseparable throughout highschool. It was a good friendship – I helped instil confidence in her when she lacked it and she helped me accept myself better where I couldnt. She was always there for me and though we don’t speak much anymore since I’ve moved back to Malaysia, I don’t think we’ll ever forget how we feel about each other. You know this in the sweetest birthday messages exchanged each year.
So when I moved back to Malaysia, I longed for that same kind of friendship as well. But I only received it a couple of years later.
I became friends with bestie as we entered A-levels. Two secretly fragile girls still discovering themselves, swimming through the workload of stress that is A-Levels yet striving to find a balance in what truly matters – being true to yourself.
It was a good friendship (and still is), exactly like the one I had previously – I help her instil confidence where she lacks and she helps me to accept myself where I couldn’t – and vice versa. It’s the best kind of friendship really. Together we went through so much – relationships, bad breakups, university stress to travelling places, discovering Malaysia, discovering religion and growing to be more tolerant and accepting.
Like any type of relationship, there were plenty of rough moments in this friendship – we got sick of each other at some point of being roommates (:p), we silently disapproved of each other’s boyfriend, I overexerted my expectations on her self-growth and she did not support me enough when I needed it.
Well it has been 8 years, it can’t always be rosy can it?
2016 marks our 8th year of friendship and that’s when it hit me – I have an amazing friendship with my bestfriend and for that I am truly lucky. To me the concept of friendship has always been an investment and so I was never stingy with my efforts to make it work. Of course even a friendship needs to afford some form of chemistry and we’ve generally always gotten along despite being so different.
I wanted to write out this blogpost because I realised that I had always yearned for a long-term friendship – the kind where you meet a friend back in primary school and stay friends with them forever. I realised everyone’s fate is different and it’s not the duration or place where you meet a person, but the relationship that you sustain from then on. Even though I only met bestie at 16, I hope (actually I know for sure) to continue sustaining this friendship that has taken me so far in life, insyallah. I only need 3 constants in my life (besides family and a partner) and having my bestfriend is definitely one of it.
Cherish your friendships, work on them and most importantly, never let go of a friend who inspires you to be better. They are Godsent.